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Highlights:
Our Deepest Fears | Living Wills Can Fail | Surrogates Can Let You Down | A Legal Peaceful Choice | Why Caring Advocates

Three short stories

Wife tried to overrule her husband’s Living Will

In 1998, Hanford Pinette signed two documents. In his Living Will, he stated that in the event of a terminal illness with no probability of recovery, he wanted “to die naturally” and receive medication only to “alleviate pain.” But in his Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, he designated his wife Alice as his surrogate to make medical decisions for him, if he ever became incompetent. In February 2004, 73-year old Mr. Pinette was admitted to a hospital in Orlando, Florida as he suffered from congestive heart failure. His doctors wanted to remove him from life-prolonging machines according to his Living will, but his proxy/wife insisted they not do so. Fortunately for Mr. Pinette, the court did not take years to respond, no appeals were filed, and thus after only a few months, his doctors were permitted to follow his original wishes to discontinue life-support. Because of the relative rapidity of the court’s decision, this case did not create much publicity, however it does indicate the significant pitfall of your agent not following your wishes.

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Wife insists on inserting a feeding tube

In 1998, John King signed a living will saying he didn't want to be kept alive artificially if he ever fell into a state of permanent unconsciousness. Now 72 and suffering from advanced Alzheimer's, the time had come for that wish to be carried out. But John's wife, Ann King, whom he named as his surrogate in the declaration, insisted that the doctors insert a feeding tube.

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Dad couldn’t let our old dog go

When I was very little girl, my grandfather went into the hospital for a routine surgical procedure. Everyone expected him to be back home in a few days. But something went wrong and he never regained consciousness. It took him five months to die. All that time, my grandmother struggled with some tough decisions. She never knew for sure what her husband of almost 47 years wanted. Her experience was a lesson for the rest of us in the family on how important it is to discuss such things, ahead of time.

When I was a teenager, our dog, Ned, fell ill. The veterinarian said there was no hope for him to recover and that we should put him to sleep because he was in pain. But my father simply refused to give permission to put Ned to sleep. So the poor dog continued to suffer. Years later, my mother shared with me that’s when she wondered, If Dad had this much trouble making difficult choices for a dog, how long might he let me suffer? Previously, my parents had given each other power of attorney to make medical decisions in the event of incompetence. But after Ned died, my mother contacted their lawyer and substituted her brother for my dad, as her designated agent. From that, I learned that sometimes even though you know someone loves you, you cannot trust him or her to make these most difficult decisions the way you would wish.